a little something to keep you entertained.

here's what was going through my mind during my chemistry class two years ago (11th grade.) i'm putting this here so you can be entertained until i get back from my vacation and actually start updating.



Seriously, why are noble gases called noble gases? Were they used to perform some kind of "noble" deed in the "olden days?" Or were the men who discovered them considered "noble?" I WANT TO KNOW. This will bother me until I die.

Speaking of that, I wonder what happens when you die. Do you go to Nirvana / Valhalla / insert name of generic afterlife place here? And what's the "real" heaven and hell? Is "heaven" supposed to be Pearly White Gates, or just somewhere where life is good all the time? That being said, everyone's personal heaven would be completely different. If hell goes by the same rules, then what would happen if everyone had all their different hells combined into one Super Jello Tower Hell of Doom? ... I wonder if hell has a taste. Can you eat in hell? What happens if you become a cannibal in hell? Or what happens if you kill someone in heaven? Would a trap door instantly appear beneath your feet and you fall millions of miles down into "hell?"

But wouldn't you just die anyway before you got to hell? I mean, falling those millions of miles would mean falling at a very high rate of speed. Would you still be able to breathe as you fell? If not, why would you need to anyway if you're dead? Or is there special dead!person air you breathe? So, assuming you didn't die of suffocation while falling into hell, you've still just fallen shitloads of miles from "heaven" ... meaning, you'd probably die instantly just because of all the energy you "made" falling down. But if you're dead, it doesn't really matter, does it? Can you die twice without being brought back to life again? What if you were killed in hell? Would you go to heaven, or just a less "evil" level of hell? AGH, I WANT TO KNOW.

Oh, and who came up with the idea of Pearly White Gates, anyway? I mean, okay, let's say you've been dead for ... oh, I dunno, a week. That's long enough to be good and dead, but short enough so the maggots wouldn't have gotten through your clothing [yet.] Someone Up There finally comes across your name on the roster, and FWOOSH! You're suddenly standing in front of OH MY GOD, MY EYES, I CAN'T SEE. Okay, somewhere in the God Book doesn't it say that a sinner will be blinded by the Light O' God? Well, okay. OBVIOUSLY you're not important enough, seeing as how it took good ol' Gabriel or whoever a week to find your name -- the maggots still love you though, so no worries! ANYWAY, what's the deal with the Pearly White Gates? Don't pearls come in all KINDS of colors? And besides, if you're blind, you're not really gonna know what color everything is, will you? Honestly!

So great, not only are you dead with maggots trying to get overly intimate, but now you're blind. Lovely. So, now that you can't see anything, let's assume there's the Stereotypical Hollywood Booming Voice Of God sound, and because it's so Holy And Loud, your ears begin to bleed all Asylum-like and you're made to be deaf. So now you're being went down on by maggots, you can't see worth shit, and you're deaf. Can't get any worse, right? RIGHT?

Wrong. Let's not forget that now that you've been welcomed, or at least pitchforked into heaven, it's time to be judged. Now, you're being eaten alive--er, dead, rather--you can't see, and your ears are still bleeding out an unholy amount of blood. Christ, that's a lot of blood. Anyway, you're cattle-prodded up to stand before a podium WHICH YOU CAN'T SEE BECAUSE YOU'RE BLIND to hear Gabriel Or Whoever give you your fate WHICH YOU CAN'T HEAR BECAUSE, OH MY GOD, BLOOD. So obviously, you won't know if you're gonna through the Pearly White Gates of Blindness or fall down into hell via the Trap Door of Jello Hell Doom. So if you're asked a question, chances are you aren't gonna know. If the question is somehow posed inside your head, you're probably going to be thinking "HOLY SHITFUCK, I CAN'T SEE AND I CAN'T HEAR!" In which case, you'll probably go to hell anyway because of your creative language. Props to you!

So, okay. Now we've got nobody left in heaven [because, hey, people tend to follow the crowd. Would YOU wanna be the only one left in heaven while all your friends are getting their senses back in hell?] and a whole shitload of people down in hell. Now, according to that One Guy's Essay, hell is either expanding at a continuous rate or some other technical crap like that. Anyway, let's just assume that hell has reached its Maximum Capacity Of Blind, Deaf, and Dead People -- mutes aren't included in this section, sorry. So, of course, when something is filled to the brink, eventually it will explode and the contents will burst and guts will be tossed about in a psychotic fashion until whatever it was that exploded whittles away into nothing.

Great. Now you're dead, blind, deaf, and hell just exploded. Now what are you gonna do?

Here's a one-way ticket to the Magical Pony Land of Chemistry. Have fun, suckers.